I have been thinking about smart-ass answers to people who confront me or stare at me or who ask uncouth or inappropriate questions. These could be used in lots of situations when someone thinks they have clocked you.
When you are in line with a friend at the store and people are staring or listening to you talk,” I don’t feel too bad or look bad for someone whose kids were delivered by C-section. Both kids.” This should work in other situations as well.
“I never had much of a period growing up.” This will work almost anywhere when there are nosy people around. I may use this when I am looking at feminine products with cis-female friends.
“Wish I could get rid of this baby fat. Having two kids will do that to one.” This would require company, I think. It would be great when shopping in the unmentionables section in Walmart.
When someone misgenders you on the phone, “You called me sir, that would surprise my two kids. Both were delivered by c-section. I am a woman.”
When the cashier comments on your negligee that you just bought, “I woulnd’t have been able to wear this after my kids were born. I can now that I lost over 100 pounds.”
Can you think of any other witty comebacks? If so, add them in the comments below.
Branwen — proud to be a smart ass and a trans woman.